Children experience stress, fear, and anger just like adults do, but they often don’t yet have the tools to manage these tough emotions in healthy and constructive ways. As a result, tantrums or meltdowns often occur, and can cause stress in home environments. Here are a few practical tips for practicing kind firmness with children during these moments to help them build their problem-solving skills while navigating difficult emotions.
Validate their feelings, not their actions
Acknowledging your child’s feelings can go a long way in making them feel understood and heard, and therefore less likely to lash out or meltdown. Simple phrases like, “I can understand why that made you upset” can help build rapport with your child and help them to talk through their emotions in more mature ways. It’s important to remember that validating their feelings doesn’t have to mean affirming their reactions to those feelings.
Practice positive reinforcement
Research shows that children respond best to positive rather than negative reinforcement in most cases. While discipline is important, particularly when dealing with tantrums, using positive reinforcement can often minimize the recurrence of these difficult behaviors. For example, praising positive behaviors or thanking your child when they do something kind or compassionate can build your child’s self-esteem and encourage them to handle stressful feelings in more productive ways.
Model problem-solving skills
Children often pick up on behaviors from their parents, siblings, and peers. For this reason, it’s important to make sure you exhibit healthy problem-solving skills, even during tantrums. Remaining calm and communicating with your child, even when you are angry or frustrated, will teach them to behave the same when faced with conflict.
Explain punishments
Time-outs or other forms of consequences can be useful when managing a child prone to tantrums. However, it’s important to communicate the reasoning behind these punishments to your child so that they understand that it is a direct consequence of unacceptable behavior. Punishment without explanation can sometimes make children feel targeted, unheard, or unloved, while open communication helps your child understand how they can avoid these consequences in the future.
As a parent, managing tantrums or meltdowns can often be stressful and overwhelming, but it can also be a learning opportunity for your child. Navigating these conflicts with patience, compassion, and understanding can help your child develop the problem-solving skills, resilience, and emotional intelligence necessary to minimize the occurrence of unacceptable behaviors in the future.
Heaven’s Elect Christian Learning Center is a Non-denominational Christian childcare center fully licensed by the state of Michigan. Our Midland childcare center has been serving the community since 2000. Please contact us at heavenselect.com.