The house is a mess, and so is the new family. Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three status is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful. It’s also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome. This combination can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place. Maintaining a marriage post-baby takes a lot of time and energy, exactly what you’ve have the least of now. Here are some ideas that will help your family during this transition period.

Never stop communicating

As the domestic duties suddenly become more than you can handle at any given moment, the nagging and bickering will inevitably increase. It is helpful to keep a list visible of what needs to be done. However, keeping score and continually reminding your partner, “well I’ve done this, so you do that,” is not exactly positive communication. Both of your nerves are on edge due to lack of rest and increased worry. You can communicate positively by simply saying “please” and “thank you” to each other. Even though your partner has been with you through thick and thin, politeness goes a long way – even when you’re feeling drained.

Juggle “you” and “us” time as best as you can

You’re always together, but no longer alone. Whether you’ve been a couple for years or just met and wanted to have a baby quickly, the transition to a family is challenging. Try and schedule time for only the two of you and avoid baby topics. You don’t want all your time together to be spent talking about the upcoming doctor appointment or what laundry detergent you should use.  In this way, your dates won’t be baby talk. You can share the stuff you used to, like current global issues or the latest neighborhood news.

Overcome new and challenging financial choices

While there are many new stressors for new parents, money is top most of the time. Often, the decision centralizes around whether or not you can afford childcare so both partners can keep working full time. Whatever your financial choices happen to be, decide them together. Keep in mind, that you’re probably spending less money in some areas, such as on movies, eating out, clothes, and vacations. Work together to come up with reasonable solutions that allow both of you to have a life outside of parenting.

Remember, it’s the love you have for each other that created this new family. It is that love and working together patiently and considerately.

Heaven’s Elect Christian Learning Center and Daycare is a Non-denominational Christian childcare center fully licensed by the state of Michigan. Our Midland daycare center has been serving the community since 2000. Please contact us at